It takes a lot of courage to step into our power, to not allow for anyone or anything to dim our light. This kind of power doesn't come from our ego, it comes from our core. The core of our being, that is rooting for us. That part that says, keep going, don't give up, you're worth it-- that kind of power. It isn't overbearing, it can even be quiet and subtle, however it is very strong. To tell you the truth, I have a hard time with it. A very hard time. My whole life I have been asking permission to exist. Is it okay if I do this? Live here? Date him? And now I am finding it even harder when it comes to starting a business. When we begin to step into ourselves and really start living our lives for who we are... there is often resistance. Our souls are telling us to keep going, but others might be telling us to get out of their way and off their turf. I, in this case, like to retreat. I stop where I am, tell myself at this point that I'm not good enough, and I leave. It might be the situation, it might be a job or a state or even a relationship. I have done this over and over again. While I was in Dallas over the weekend, Baron talked a lot about resistance. I think he probably said it almost every other word. It didn't really hit me until yesterday, that I have been feeling resistance in every part of my body. I have been holding on, trying to keep it all together, wanting it to be right, be perfect and instead of letting go and surrendering to the resistance, I have been creating more and more. I keep wanting to get in my car and drive back to Houston. I had a wonderful little yoga community there. One that was inspiring and it's a place I will always come back to-- it's my home studio. It's the place that birthed this idea, and gave me strength to take the leap. I keep thinking, why in my right mind would I ever leave it?? Well, now that I've taken the leap, I'm finding out that I've only just begun and that for the first time, I can't give up. I can't retreat, because I believe that if we've been given something incredible, our spirit must share it because that's what were here to do-- share ourselves, our experiences, our tools of life, our breath, our thoughts and our hearts with others. Otherwise, what's the point? I've always had resistance to Arkansas. Ever since I moved away to go off to college, I never thought I would come back here. That is until things out of my control began to happen. And the more yoga I did, the more I felt a need to go back to my roots, to the place where I once disconnected, the place where I feel like I lost my power, I felt the need to come back. I guess maybe I've had to come back to get it, however, I'm not entirely sure. What I am realizing is that the places in our lives that give us the most resistance, that's where we need to go, that's where we need to be, because those are the places of growth, of healing-- deep healing. We can't run away from our pain, or we will always run away from our joy. It is only in going through the pain, the resistance, sitting there until it doesn't exist any longer, that we will be free. Because on the other side of that resistance, of that wall, that block, that thing that always seems to be holding us back from ourselves, is who we truly are. I just wanted to share this, because often times when resistance comes up, we think it's a reflection of something wrong with us, but it's actually just a chance for us to step into our power to claim ourselves, our lives and who we are...
Robert Frost says, "The only way out is through," and as I think to myself, oh shit, he's right. My mind begins to develop a plan. I think, alright I'm just going to hold my breath, close my eyes, and hopefully I'll be through it soon. That's what I've always done. Hold my breath. In yoga, we say, the minute we want to come out of a pose is when it truly begins and the minute we start holding our breath is when we need to breathe the most. So, here we go, I am going to breathe my way through this resistance and you know what? I'm going to hold the pose. I'm making a commitment to myself right now, not to run, not give up, as I said in my last post... keep going... keep going...
So, anytime the universe begins to show you resistance, just remember that for one thing, you are not alone, and another, it's just giving you the chance to claim your power. :) Don't be afraid to say yes, to push through and most of all to shine your light no matter what.
No comments:
Post a Comment