A mountain of gratitude...

Lately, I have been forgetting something... that my life, with or without a plan, is enough and I feel a mountain of gratitude for just being here at this moment. It was 11 years ago, that 9/11 became a day that will be in our hearts forever. I remember so vividly sitting at my desk in history class. We just happened to watch the news every morning in class, and when we turned it on and saw the planes going into the World Trade Towers, we didn't think it was real. However, it was very real. Every single time I step into New York, there is a sense of a deep scar over the city. Every cab ride to Battery Park is a reminder of what happened that day, the lives of loved ones lost, as well as an awareness of the fear in the world, that led to such destruction. Last night, I had the sense that lately, I have been consumed with all the things I feel like I haven't accomplished, all the things I feel like I "should" be at this point in my life, all of these thoughts, these self-destructive thoughts, are so self-centered that I feel a little embarrassed about them. I haven't stopped to truly be thankful for all the people in my life who I have learned from, loved, shared things with... and experienced life with... as well as all the places, such as New York, that have somehow shaped who I am. I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to live in such a city, that has endured so much. The sheer strength of the place is amazing. It is a city that cannot be tamed, it marches to it's own beat and although I wanted to change it into something steady, something I could grasp, I realize now, that instead of trying to change it, I should have been more grateful to it in the moment. Sometimes instead of changing our circumstances, thoughts, or even trying to change ourselves into what we think we should be or do, we just need to stop and grateful for who we are and what life has brought us here and now. Because with all of our flaws, all of our scars, all of our joys, all of our hopes and dreams, they make us who we are and I am so thankful for each and every one of them. Today, I am so very thankful for our troops, the people who have fought for freedom in this country, to live in this country and for all the states and cities, especially New York, New York. 

images via mybluecanoe and bippityboppityboo

Courage.

I love this quote. I spotted it earlier this morning, and felt it resonate within me to the core as I read it. Perhaps because I feel like I am going through such a transition period. Last night I got to thinking about my need to figure things out... to always "know." I have frustrated myself time and time again, trying to think of all the possibilities and "what ifs" about moving to Arkansas. What if it doesn't work, what if this is a terrible idea, what if I should stay in Houston, what if I completely fail? I read something yesterday, that I thought was pretty helpful about trying to gain perspective when we don't know the answers. The true fact is sometimes most of the time we just don't know... actually we almost never know how something will turn out.

In the Language of Letting Go it says, "Too often, we try to gain clear perspective before it's time. That will make us crazy. We do not always know why things are happening the way they are. We do not always know how a particular relationship will work out. We do not always know understand the source of our feelings, why we've been led down a particular path, what is being worked out in us, what we are learning, why we had to wait, why we needed to through a time of discipline or why a door closed. How our present circumstances will work into a larger scheme of events is not always clear to us. That is how it needs to be. Perspective will come in retrospect. We could strain for hours today for the meaning of something that may come next year. Let it go. We can let go of our need to figure things out, to feel in control. Now is the time to be. To feel. To go through it. To allow things to happen. To learn. To let whatever is being worked out take its course. In hindsight, we will know. It will become clear. For today, being is enough. We have been told that all things work out for good in our life. We can trust that to happen... "

As we begin to come into our own lives, the lives that we want for ourselves and the lives that feel right in our hearts and our souls, it can be a scary feeling. I often feel that so much of my life, has led me to exactly where I am today, with the desire to create a space where people can come to nourish themselves. I was given that the day I walked into Yoga Ananda in Houston. It was as if for the first time, I felt that I didn't have to be anyone, except who I truly am. I am not really sure why that is, all I know is that when I started doing yoga and especially teaching it, something inside of me clicked and it was as if all the pieces of the puzzle suddenly fit, and I knew right then and there that this was something I will do forever... I will forever come to my mat and I will forever want to share it with others. Sometimes, I think the hardest part isn't figuring out what to do, but it is having the courage to go for it. So, I think this week, I am going to ask the universe for courage and guidance. And I will put simple trust in the truth that all is well, events are unfolding as they should, and all will work out for good-- better than anything we could ever dream into being!

Maybe this week, if you're feeling like you need courage or maybe strength or guidance, we can manifest it all together. I think sometimes I've been afraid of happiness, or truly receiving anything... don't be afraid of your own light, and I will try not to be afraid of mine!

Lots of love to you all!

Happy Monday!

A few of my favorite things

Hi all, since the days are getting shorter, and the weather will hopefully be turning a bit cooler soon, I wanted to share some pieces of things I'm loving now... and some things over the summer. P.S. I'm on instagram if you'd like to follow me... it's under my name, sarahrumsey ;)  I may have an addiction to instagram, it's too early to tell but, I do love it and these fall-colored flowers.

As well as my 4.00 ice bucket I got from the Guild shop. If you live in Houston, and haven't been, you should probably drop whatever it is you are doing and go there now.

These Tory Burch sandals have been on my feet all summer... and I am loving this book, Meditations from the Mat:

"A spiritual practice is one that brings us full circle-- not to a new self, but rather, back to the essence of our true selves. Yoga is the practice of celebrating what is. At the the end of the hero's journey, he finds that he did not need to go anywhere, that all he sought was inside him all along." I really like that, and believe it is so true.  

Stripes, stripes and more stripes. Shirt from J.Crew and my skinny jeans from the Gap make for comfy traveling. :)

Sweetest pup and best traveler, who has been here, there and everywhere this summer! Addie is my honey pie!

Adventures with my brother range long and far. I love this photo I shot of him this summer fly fishing, right before I pulled my stomach muscle trying to get on a rock to take some photos!

And that's me in crow, during our trip to Arizona to visit my dad! It was the best two days of my life, being there with him. As I've mentioned before it's been a long road for my family since last October, but there has been so much healing. Through pain, there is joy, that is something I absolutely know to be true. Lots of love to all of you! Time to enjoy the last little bits of summma' time. 

Trust the Timing

It's really easy to want to rush things along. A lot of times in my life, I've thought well I need to rush to make something of myself, rush to meet the perfect man, rush to have to have the perfect life. But, one thing we know to be true is that there is no perfect life and there is no way we can master timing on our own. One of the biggest things in my life that allows me to have the most faith, is that looking back on everything, the timing has always been right... I just didn't necessarily believe it. I have tons of friends getting married, and sometimes when I look around, I think that everyone else has been given the perfect life, but me. However, I know that we all have our own paths and our journeys. God always gives us what we need, and for each of us, it's different. I've talked a lot in my yoga classes lately about surrendering, surrendering our plan that we have to something greater, and not settling for something that might not be right just because it's easier, looks better or sounds more fun. It's really easy to settle, it is much harder to wait-- because when things are right, I believe you just know. There aren't any questions and things fall into place, we just can't rush the process. Trust the timing of your heart, your growth and the lessons you are learning. The rhythm of nature is patience. :)

I hope you all have a really great weekend! I'm hoping to get some good yoga in this weekend and I'm excited about it!

images via pinterest

Thursday Style

Yesterday, I stumbled across the blog See Jane. I don't know how I've never seen it before, because I absolutely love it. She just looks effortlessly perfect, all the time.

The things we leave behind...

This week kicks off fashion week in NYC and every year I watch awesome people, bloggers, editors and designers flock to New York, to take the week on by storm, at a distance. I used to intern in New York every summer. Thinking that fashion or beauty editorial was the route I wanted to go. I tried so badly to make it happen. I wanted to "will" myself into falling in love with New York although it never felt right. When I moved there a year after I graduated college, I ran around feeling exhausted. I didn't have myself, although I kept trying and trying to give myself. This sort of thing can happen when we are depleted. The theme for yoga this month is generosity of spirit and as I've been thinking about that in relation to my life. Through a lot of years of learning how to honor myself, after quitting my internship at Lucky and heading to the Himalayas on a five and a half week backpacking trip, sometimes I look back and think did I just give up and throw in the towel? I think the answer to that is yes and no. Someone once told me that you have to "be" before you can "do." I didn't have the "be" part down so I certainly couldn't "do." Life has since led me on a journey back to myself. Every step I have taken, every move I have made, every city I have lived in has all led me to my mat. No longer did I focus on having the "perfect" outfit or feeling like I needed to accomplish something great or do something spectacular to justify my life. I just started to flow, and I focused solely on healing wounds held deep within me... wounds that told me I wasn't good enough for New York, I wasn't good enough to get what I wanted...

As I've mentioned before, the biggest hurdle I had in my yoga teaching training was feeling worthy enough to share this practice that I love so much.

So, I left New York, not knowing if I made the right decision. Sometimes, I still wonder what my life would be like if I would have stayed, but my heart pulled me in a different way and I needed to go get myself, and have myself, so I could then, give myself. However, I still love fashion, that part of me will never change, but for now, I enjoy it from afar, through friends like Tulip Louise! 

Are there any decisions you've made that you wonder what would have happened if you had gone the other way? I think that in life, you just have to follow your heart and trust that in some way, something bigger than you've ever dreamed, will show up. I never thought I would love teaching yoga as much as I do. I never thought that I would want to share it as much as I do! But now, looking back, it makes sense. Maybe someday I will be able to do both, combine, both... which is kind of what this blog is for. :)

I hope you all have a really lovely Wednesday! 

Detox

...Is the theme for this week. After a really wonderful weekend spent tailgating, waterskiing and probably eating one too many cookies, I am taking it easy this week. I woke up this morning, ready to go, but as the day has gone on, I've been feeling more and more confused. People who stumble upon this blog and read it often, know that the month of August was confusing and I guess I forgot to leave it behind before coming into September. Mainly because I haven't made up my mind where to live, where to be and my lease is up October 31st. Yes, I hear the clock ticking. Anyway, when I'm feeling this way, I have the tendency to want to distract myself, because that's a whole lot easier than sitting with the unease of not knowing. However, I think instead of distracting myself, I'm simply going to focus on not bogging myself down with anything but nourishment. I like this quote in regards to confusion:
“God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches by means of opposites so that you will have two wings to fly, not one”  ― Rumi, Essential Rumi

It makes me feel just a little bit better. The thing is, in the process of life, I know it's never figured out. We never have it and we are always learning. I just wish I knew where to live. With that, I hope you all have a really wonderful day. Here is a great detox plan from Whole Living that I love! I'm hoping in the month of September to manifest some clarity. :)