For the Mama Heart

I hear it. The underground support group that is equivalent in strength to a million armies. It's the group that works hard 24/7. They are always on call and their nickname is "mom". That's right, I now understand the reason why this strong support group exists. As I stood and talked to other moms on Saturday we laughed about our husbands being half-awake in the middle of the night, while we are fully awake, sitting in a chair, feeding. We talked about sleep training, attachment styles, bottles, in-laws, and all those things that become a topic when you become a parent. It's interesting right? It is as if you are going along one day with your priorities and then suddenly all of that shifts and now comes the task of prioritizing the little soul/person that has shown up in your life, along with all the other things you were prioritizing before... at least that is the expectation. The unmeetable expectation that I think all moms place on themselves. It's as if we feel this need to keep continuing with the life we had pre-baby, but also figure out how to take care of a baby and fit that baby into a life that is forever changed. I think my mom must have been really good at this, but me, not so much. As I sit here and I type I have just gotten finished with an assignment for one of my classes and I am listening to Ethan on the monitor. Yes, I am sitting here listening because I am not sure if he will go back to sleep or not. That is the constant question right? Do I need to go get him? Should I let him try to sleep more because I know he is tired? Do I need to nurse him? Change him? Why is he making that face? Is he hurting? Does he have gas? Is he constipated? Is he eating enough? Is it normal for him to be doing *fill in the blank. Oh my goodness, I am exhausted just typing that. But can anyone else relate? It's a constant ever-shifting puzzle and there is no room for perfection, because that's not how this thing works. No. This parenting stuff, I am pretty sure it's impossible to think that anything could ever be perfect. So, here I sit. It's taken me about a week to write this post from start to finish, but here we are... and in all its messiness right now, life is pretty good.

I have this thought that our kids have more wisdom than we do and they are actually sent as teachers. With that being said, I think our job is to tune in and listen, while putting aside all of our expectations; including, stressing over things like breastfed or formula fed, sleep training or co-sleeping, and being preoccupied with things like milestones.

I think it's easier said than done, right?

Thank goodness we all have each other, because this mom thing is a journey.