Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Finding Compassion

Good morning my dears. I hope all of you are doing well. The past few days, I have woken up feeling more like myself, than I have in months. As I have started to settle into everything.... a new town, new house, and a new business, my heart is feeling light again, instead of plagued by heaviness. I teach yoga every day or almost every day and I have to say that there is nothing in the world I would rather be doing than what I am doing right now. Pretty cool, huh? I don't think I have ever really felt this way before. I saw a sign the other day and it said, if you had all the money in the world, all the time in the world, and all the resources in the world, what would you do? My answer that I silently said to myself... I am doing it....

However, even though I have known this, there was something keeping me from fully enjoying it. I would get home from classes and sometimes cry and replay back all the things I did wrong in class or I would find myself worrying about the business. But, the past week or so, I have slowly let go of my attachment to the classes. I no longer bury my head and cry (I mean sob) after class, and think of all the things I did wrong when I get home... I have realized that there is no possible way I will be able to control what people think about the classes. Each and every person who does yoga is looking for something different. I have a certain teaching style and am learning to have the courage, strength and confidence to just let it be, and not try to change it. I talk a lot about having compassion for who we are in class and you know what? I think I am finally learning to have compassion for myself, as a very imperfect human being and teacher. All I can do, is put my heart and soul into each class, give my all... and then, let it go.

Isn't that all any of us can do? Give it our best and let go of the results? It's a lot less stressful than worrying so much and it gives us permission to enjoy. Enjoy the experience. Enjoy the journey. The only thing required: is to show up, for yourself and your life and to notice when you are happy.

So right now, I would like to acknowledge the fact, that I have put my heart and soul into this yoga studio, and I am so blessed  to go there and teach every day. I wouldn't have it any other way...
Thank you to all of those who have supported me in this and who have been there in class breathing, helping me to let go a little more each and every class. I am not really a teacher... just a co-creater of this practice and I feel honored each and every time I'm given the opportunity to guide a class.

Anyway, I just wanted to share all of that. Lately, I have just been a little depleted and once I find myself some space and time at my computer I have been tending to sit here like a bump on a log not knowing what to share. This morning, I woke up with a very different feeling, not one of depletion, but instead one of sheer and utter happiness. :)

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