“Live your life from your heart. Share from your heart. And your story will touch and heal people's souls.” -Melody Beattie
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Always leaving. Never staying.
Hi everyone! Hope you all are having a wonderful weekend. I just wanted to take some time, since I actually have some, to write a little. Earlier today I went for a run, and got to thinking about the idea of "the grass is always greener." Since I've graduated from college, I've spent a lot of time, moving around to different places, figuring out what fits, what doesn't. When I moved to Houston two years ago I had no idea what to expect, but I loved it. I loved the people, and the city itself, but I missed my family. I often missed out on parties, family Sundays, hanging out... when my lease came up in October it was the hardest decision to move here to Arkansas. Part of me was saying stay, part of me was saying go. It was easier to stay, I wanted to stay, but there was another part of me that wanted to put some roots down somewhere, and since I didn't have family in Houston, I didn't necessarily want to sink into Houston. I think I was afraid to, so with that I took the leap and moved to Arkansas. It has been, I believe the hardest transition I have ever been through anywhere. On top of moving, as some of you know, I opened a yoga studio. I knew if I moved to Arkansas I would have to bring a big part of myself that was nourished in Houston with me and that was the yoga. I think I've always felt like moving to Arkansas would be a loss in identity, like if I moved back to where I came from then people believe you to be a certain way, you have memories of what was, and although parts of it might feel familiar it is all very foreign, because things are different. Things change. I feel so blessed to be able to share what I love every single day through the practice of yoga, and I love my house. Being able to have a house is incredible, but this whole 6 months or so of living here, I feel like I've been holding a very long, breathtaking yoga pose and all I want to do is run out of it. However, I say this in yoga all the time and believe it's the same for life, we have to go to the places where we resist the most without running, hiding, moving, leaving, but just sit and breathe, because that is where the healing is, that is where the release, the surrender, and the magic happens. It is always in the moment, no matter where we are, because where we are is exactly where we are meant to be, learning what we're meant to learn. It is much easier to leave... than it is to stay, at least for me. I know I have carried around with me some pain that I experienced not only in high school, but after school, that took place in Arkansas. What my yoga practice has become is facing it, instead of running from it. Everyday, I wake up and breathe through it, because something brought me here that was bigger than me. So sometimes, I think we just have to trust life and trust where we are, because life is always teaching us something and it's constantly reminding us who we are, and bringing us back to ourselves. We just can't resist it, no matter how much we want to step out, leave or run, the sooner we face our self, in a place where we experience resistance, the sooner we let go, and become free. It is almost as if we have to reclaim parts of ourselves that we may have left behind and recognize that before we can leave, we have to learn how to stay. Once we get to the other side, and have worked through it, we can go where ever we wish to go, and enjoy exactly where we are in the moment.
Just thought I would share those thoughts...
Happy weekend. Enjoy.